So, on the way to Royal Holloway, they put us on the train.  First wonderful thing that happened was that a woman ran into our guide and spilled her coffee all over the floor.  From there, it started to move up and down the carriage, so I had to move my bags.  Then, another great thing happened: The toilet locked itself and decided to start spewing water all over.  Water that was not potable.  Because it had puke or poop in it.  So then that was going all up and down the carriage and mixing with the coffee, so I had to move the bags again, and the water kept spewing out.

The couple next to us noticed our accents, and the lad said, "Not all trains here are like this, I promise."
To which the girl chipped in, "Just most of them."

epic